I hear you - let me share my perspective

I have lost friends because I don't respond to their texts -

It is not easy to explain - I just don't want it to sound like a callous reason but the truth is much deeper - I am struggling to deal with what it is I have - I don't want to burden anyone with this ongoing narrative (even if they say it's not an issue) - neither do I want pity - also every effort at communication (on a personal level) is akin to nails scratching on a blackboard (not an exaggeration - I just cannot do it) - so I keep my personal communication to a very few ppl (my closest friends and family - altogether 5)

Checking in on me is thoughtful and appreciated but don't be upset if I don't respond in great detail or pick up the phone to call - I just need time & space to get through this -