I can relate to some of the things you have experienced - I think a lot is to blame on the movies and books of that time which builds up the romance apart and lets off once the couple tie the knot - they didn't delve into the part that the actual work starts after marriage - I was too young to comprehend that part and together with my self esteem/self worth issues it wasn't a happily ever after

I am by no means perfect but I have put in a lot of time on working on myself - so if not anything I am much more self aware and mature now....